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Memorial Minute Robert
Gough Hayden
Robert Gough Hayden, Swarthmore Meeting
member, died February 1, 2012, at the age of 88-years-old.
Bob was born November 18, 1923, in Philadelphia, the only child of George Gough Hayden and Grace Hanna (Barnes) Hayden.
He met Nancy Roberts Smith while they were
both attending Swarthmore
College. His daughter recounts, “He loved to say that he knew she was the one for him
the first time he saw her walk across the campus.” Robert and Nancy married
under the care of the Meeting July 20, 1946, after he returned from serving as
U.S. Naval Lieutenant Navy JG in China
during World War II. They lived 58 years in Swarthmore before retiring to White
Horse Village.
In 1948 Bob earned an MBA from the
University
of
Pennsylvania,
Wharton
School, and in 1951 a CPA from the Commonwealth
of
Pennsylvania. He worked in the financial industry and was a model for others in his ethical
Quaker ways. He served many, many
years on Swarthmore Meeting’s Budget and Finance Committee, always with proper
stewardship to Meeting’s budget. He was unassuming, seemingly staying in the
background; but, he saw to the Meeting’s financial well-being with constancy,
diligence, forbearance, and level-headedness.
As Meeting Treasurer he was instrumental in the creation and presentation
of the Meeting’s budget where he showed clarity in supporting the Meeting’s
social action programs. He was also Treasurer of the Friends Fiduciary
Corporation. After a long day at the
Meeting’s annual rummage sales, he would stay even later counting the
proceeds. We are blessed that we had Bob Hayden to support us for so many years.
Family gatherings were paramount for him-- roasting the Christmas turkey, hiding
the Easter jellybeans, and going on family vacations to
Buck Hill Falls,
Jamaica,
Ocean
City, and
Europe. He showed love for his family every single day….Even when he was sick, when
a family member called and asked how he was, he would say, “I’m better now
that I’m talking with you.”
He had a life-long passion for golf. His family jokes that golf became “the
family game” because Nancy
was better at tennis than Bob. He was thrilled to watch his children and
grandchildren develop a love for the game.
Phrases that come up again and again in
describing Bob are: his optimism; his accepting everyone; and his having a
positive outlook. He respected
women’s intelligence, both the female associates in the financial world, and
women within the Meeting community. During the civil rights movement, he was
distraught seeing the maltreatment of Black people.
His children remember him teaching that all people should be respected
equally.
He believed we
all carry an Inner Light…and now that he is gone, we carry his Inner Light and
his Spirit. One family member quoted William Penn,
“Death
is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas;
they live in one another still.”
In addition to Nancy, his wife of 65-years, he is survived by four daughters,
Anne Peters (Frederick C.) of Rosemont; Joan Taylor (Michael) of Norristown;
Patricia Lawrence (W. Patrick) of
Newtown
; and Barbara Lewis (David W.) of Doylestown; a son, Robert Hayden Jr. (Carolyn
Morgan) of Swarthmore; 14 grandchildren and five great-granddaughters.
A standing-room-only Memorial Service was held on Sunday, February 19, 2012, at
White Horse Village. In lieu of
flowers, the family asked the donations be made to Swarthmore Friends Meeting.
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